


Slippery Slope

by Laika_the_husband (Laika_the_wife)



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Banter, Closeted Character, Crush at First Sight, Dating, Drinking, Education, Falling In Love, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Humor, Libraries, M/M, Oil, Pining, Silly, Summer, Wrestling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-07-28 21:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20070943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laika_the_wife/pseuds/Laika_the_husband
Summary: Eta: SORRY I couldn't resist, this is now a chaptered fic.--"Sorry, guys. Magnus is bored.”Isak and Jonas pretended to gasp. Magnus being bored meant interesting times. He had a vivid imagination, plenty of gusto and a very holey filter.“Now what?” Jonas asked. Mahdi slammed the canister on the ground. Isak looked at the label.“Who has a five litre canister of sun oil?”“My words exactly. Magnus just asked me have I seen how white he is.” Mahdi shrugged. “Anyhow, he has three of these bad boys. And it just gets weirder from there.”---Or, the one where the guys wrestle in sun oil and the Balloon squad shows up.Very very tiny smidgeon of angst! So little I didn't bother tagging it.This is my first T-rated Evak fic! I hope you still like it!





	1. Chapter 1

Only Magnus could come up with an idea like this, Isak thought, as he was pressing his foot down over and over again in a steady rhythm. At least they had a foot pump in the carage. If the inflatable pool would have been needed to be blown full this plan would have been rejected from the start. But they took turns with pumping and the pool was filling up nicely. It was the biggest paddle pool Isak had ever seen, about two meters across. They would all fit in it at once, just like Magnus had said.

Something landed on the grass at Isak’s feet in a brown flash. Isak looked down and saw a bottle of sun oil. He frowned, and looked up at Jonas who was walking to him grinning from ear to ear.

“Skin cancer is a thing, you know”, Jonas stated firmly and reached down to pick up the bottle. “Turn around.”

Isak didn’t want to. He would risk all the cancer in the world rather than let Jonas rub  _ oil _ on his skin. He tried to tell Jonas to fuck off, that he was busy inflating the pool, but Jonas had none of it. Finally he just popped the cap and squirted the oil on Isak’s bare back. It splashed on him, wet and slick, and ran down toward his swimming shorts in a quick stream.

Jonas caught it with the side of his hand. Isak stopped breathing. All he could think about was that he could not, under any circumstance, let Jonas notice  _ anything _ weird, and thinking about that made him almost miss out how it felt to have Jonas stroke on his bare skin with his hands. They felt so strong. Jonas smelled so good, he smelled like tanned skin and sunshine. Isak was going to break, he just knew it, he was going to crumble into the ground. Melt into a puddle. Why did Jonas have to rub him so vigorously?

“This shit needs to be really worked in or it’ll just sit on your skin and do nothing”, Jonas explained calmly. He sounded like he was soothing Isak, like many times before. But now, combined with this touch, with the slickness of the oil, it was nothing but soothing. Don’t shake, Isak commanded himself, don’t shake. And for the love of everything, don’t get hard.

When Jonas was done with Isak’s back and stepped in front of him Isak just stood there, waiting. Jonas laughed at him.

“Dude, I know you’re lazy AF, but I am not going to oil up your chest and abs for you.”

Isak blinked, confused. Shit. Of course not! He had been so busy worrying about what would happen if Jonas did, that it never occurred to him that Jonas wouldn’t. Isak grinned and grabbed the bottle. He squirted some oil on his hand and rubbed it sloppily all over himself. He was not doing as good a job as Jonas was. He wanted to get over with it fast, because it felt fucking weird to touch himself in front of his best bro.

While Isak was rubbing the oil into his chest Jonas did his own frontside. Then, to Isak’s horror, he turned his back to Isak.

Isak stared at the shoulders. The shoulderblades. The slight curve of the lower back. Jonas had been lifting a while back, and though the obvious muscle definition was gone by now, Isak could totally tell Jonas’ efforts had bore fruit. And now Isak was supposed to touch that back. With oil.

“Come on, mister lazypants! Get on with it before I develope melanoma!”

Isak made his best groan to disguise his inner turmoil. He squirted some oil on his hand and started spreading it on Jonas’ back.

His skin was so warm. It was smooth. It had a slight tan already, the summer was on its last leg by now. Isak held his breath, leaned in a bit and took a little sniff at Jonas as quietly as he could. He pulled back before breathing out. Jonas smelled wonderful. His scent mixed with the sun oil as Isak rubbed it in.

“Put your back to it”, Jonas joked. He had been giving Isak crap about him not hitting the gym. But Isak liked being scrawny and weak, in a way. It was easier to not catch any attention when you didn’t look like much.

“Done”, Isak said. He dropped the bottle like it was burning in his hands. He was, miraculously, not even semi right now. Excellent body control. Well done. Maybe he was too terrified to be turned on. It didn’t matter, as long as Jonas or anyone else didn’t notice anything.

“Oy! Is the pool ready?” Mahdi shouted from the front door. Isak rolled his eyes and got back to pumping.

“Almost!” Jonas replied to Mahdi. “Bring out the hose.”

Mahdi was grinning as he walked to the pool, carrying a canister in his hand.

“Sorry, guys. Magnus is bored.”

Isak and Jonas pretended to gasp. Magnus being bored meant interesting times. He had a vivid imagination, plenty of gusto and a very holey filter.

“Now what?” Jonas asked. Mahdi slammed the canister on the ground. Isak looked at the label.

“Who has a five litre canister of sun oil?”

“My words exactly. Magnus just asked me have I seen how white he is.” Mahdi shrugged. “Anyhow, he has three of these bad boys. And it just gets weirder from there.”

“I can imagine”, Jonas chuckled. Isak kept pumping because he didn’t know what else to do. He had a bad feeling about this.

“Found them!” Magnus exclaimed from the door and skipped to the other guys. He was holding two white tennis socks in his hand. His other hand had more interesting cargo - a bottle of vodka, straight from the freezer. The bottle was covered in white mist, and it made Isak lick his lips.

“Please, Mags”, Jonas said. “What is going on?”

“I am bored! We can’t just lay around in the pool all day, I’m sick of talking with you guys. No offence.”

“If you’re sick of us why did you invite us over?”

Magnus grinned.

“I have no other friends. I placed all my bets on you guys and I’m stuck with you now.”

Mahdi patted on his chest.

“Touching! Can’t you just feel the love in the air?”

Magnus dismissed Mahdi’s remark with a wave of a sock. He checked on the pool and told Isak to stop pumping.

“I saw this on Love Island. It was hilarious.”

Jonas, Isak and Mahdi exchanged looks. Oh boy. Magnus plugged up the pool and uncapped the canister. All three boys watched in disbelief as Magnus poured the sun oil into the pool.

“Okay I’m leaving”, Isak said. Magnus grabbed his arm.

“No. You’re staying, and you’re taking part, and you will get vodka for it.”

“Vodka is relevant to my interests”, Isak admitted. He sighed, rolling his eyes again. “Okay, what is this idea of yours?”

Magnus explained the rules to them. Two participants would enter “the ring”, each wearing a sock, and the goal was to remove the opponent’s sock before they managed to snatch yours. The winner would get to down a shot of vodka.

“And no dirty moves! No groping. No biting. And no licking!”

Jonas raised his brows at Magnus.

“No licking?”

“It could be a huge distraction! Right, Isak? You’re with me in this, right?”

Isak almost choked. Fucking Magnus! Did he want Isak to drop dead right there and then?

“Fine”, Jonas came to Isak’s rescue. “No licking. Gimme that.” Jonas grabbed the sock and pulled it on his bare foot. He stepped into the pool and almost slipped at the first step. “Fuck! That’s slick!”

“That’s what he said”, Mahdi cracked. Magnus thought it was hilarious, and even Isak smiled a bit. His mood was getting better. The vodka and the glimmer of the drops on the bottle’s side were really alluring. The rules had prohibited licking, otherwise Isak would have been licking that bottle already.

“Well? I’m not going to wrestle myself, and I’m really getting thirsty.”

Isak would not raise his hand. He was not going to wrestle Jonas in nothing but swimshorts and a sock. Hell no.

“Fine”, Magnus sighed. “It’s time I touch up my SPF anyway. Do NOT touch this bottle, Issy and Mahdi.”

Isak and Mahdi pretended to be offended, but everyone knew it was a fair remark. Magnus put the bottle down on the grass and pulled the sock on his foot. He got in the pool and grouched, ready to wrestle.

“Mahdi, will you be the jugde?”

“Sure”, Mahdi agreed and stepped closer to the ring. “Okay, wrestlers, I want a clean fight. No oral action, no naughty bits touched, no hair pulling or face scratching. May the best man win. Three, two, one, go!”

Magnus had been right. It was hilarious. Isak was howling with laughter by the time Jonas had locked Magnus down with his legs around his waist, and Magnus was squirming and slipping like some kind of greasy fish. A very pale one. To absolutely no-one’s surprise Jonas managed to pull the sock off Magnus. He waved it triumphantly over his head.

“Yasss! Issy, pour me a shot!”

Isak shrugged.

“I’m not allowed to touch the bottle.”

Mahdi giggled like a madman, exclaimed he was willing to take the chance and cracked the bottle open. He filled up the sun oil canister’s cork with the ice cold vodka and handed it over to Jonas. Jonas raised it on his lips, emptied it and grimaced.

“It still had some oil in it”, Jonas groaned.

“You’re covered in it, dude, it’s just you.”

Jonas grinned.

“Probably. Who’s next?”

“There’s no point in pulling off a sock that’s still on. So either Mahdi or Issy, you’re up next. Can you beat the standing champion?”

Isak really, really didn’t want to wrestle with an oiled up Jonas. So he did his best to encourage Mahdi to take the challenge, and promised to fight the winner. He really, really hoped it would be Mahdi. But Jonas was already covered in oil, he would be hard to grab. Jonas handed the sock over to Mahdi, who pulled it on and immediately complained about how nasty it felt on his foot.

“You get used to it!” Magnus demanded. “Get in the ring, sissy!”

“That’s toxic masculinity, asshole”, Mahdi educated Magnus. But he got in the ring, and he attacked Jonas the second Magnus said Go. He dove down and went straight for the sock, and less than a minute later he was holding it in his hand.

“Yasss!” Isak cheered. He poured Mahdi his prize while Jonas whined that he thought Isak was his bro. Jonas stepped out of the pool, defeated, and Isak pulled the sock on. It really did feel weird and icky. Totally unsanitary, too. But it didn’t matter, vodka was a desinfectant.

The rush of the competition was getting to Isak. He was more and more comfortable with all this, it was just some fun in the sun, with his best friends. His bros. His squad. There was nothing to be worried about, was there? Isak stepped in the slippery pool and eyed at Mahdi. He was taller than Mahdi. He had longer arms  _ and _ longer legs. This should be easy enough.

It was. Isak barely noticed his hands were gliding along some smooth, sexy boy skin, he didn’t care about the muscles right beneath it, all ne cared about was his target. The sock. Mahdi didn’t really stand a chance. Isak reached the sock, grabbed it and yanked it off Mahdi’s foot.

He was laughing so much his stomach was hurting. The sun was shining, he was together with his friends, having fun, and the vodka was still so cold he couldn’t taste it at all when it ran down his throat. It was just lovely.

Music started playing. Isak threw his head back and laughed.

“Eye of the Tiger?”

“Rising up to the challenge of our rival!” Jonas put his phone down and got up on his feet. He raised his hands in the boxing position and did a little dance with his feet. “Up for it, champion?”

“Isn’t it Mags’ turn?” Isak tried, but Mags was happy to let Jonas take his place. He said he was hungry for a rematch, and if Jonas had downed two shots before that he had an advantage. So, Jonas pulled the sock on and stepped into the ring. He was so close. Too close. Isak stepped back, trying to circle the ring, but he slipped and fell and when that happened, Jonas was on top of him.

Jonas with his hot, sun-kissed skin.

Jonas and his scent.

Jonas, pressed against Isak, slipping with the oil.

Isak had to get away from this pool. He had to escape before it was too late. The only way he could think of was to get that fucking sock.

Fuck, Jonas had nice thighs. His calves were beautiful, too. Jonas kept squirming, pulling his legs away from Isak, who kept his eyes fixed on the sock. He needed that sock. It was going to be his. Isak dug his toes in the ground through the bottom of the pool and pushed, as hard as he could. He slid forward on his belly, and as he passed the sock he managed to grab it and pull it with him.

“YES!” Magnus jumped up and did a little dance. “That was an AWESOME fight!”

Isak heard cheering and claps, too. But from the wrong direction. All four of them turned to look by the fence and saw five guys leaning on it, watching them. Isak wasn’t happy to notice they were all smoking hot. He was barely getting used to finding guys hot in general, he didn’t need five hotties in a row like that. Watching him squirm on the ground all oiled up.

“Hey”, one of them shouted, “that looks fun! Can we come?”

Isak bit his cheek so he wouldn’t shake his head. But when the strange guys raised their bags above the fence and presented the booze they were willing to share, Mahdi, Mags and Jonas got so excited Isak could just shrug and kind of slink back.

The guys told their names, but Isak missed them all. One of them was maybe called Adam? Was Mutta a name? It didn’t really matter, they were just some random guys who wanted to oil wrestle with them, because apparently life wanted to rub this gay thing in Isak’s face.

Isak realized too late he was still in the ring with a sock on. One of the guys took his shirt off and Isak stopped working at all. He had a body that looked photoshopped. Perfect abs. Definded pecs. His shoulders looked so strong, his guns were fully loaded and oh god he was stripping down to his underwear now. Isak stared at his bulge for half a second, and that was half a second too long. Shit. Shit. Shit.

“I didn’t catch your name? I’m Elias.” The guy held out his hand. Isak forced himself to shake it, and that was when the guy yanked his hand. Isak slipped, he fell on his back, his foot up in the air, and the guy just pulled the sock off him while his mates cheered. Magnus tried to void the match, but Isak said it was okay and happily slithered out of the ring.

“I think I sprained something”, Isak said, with a pretend pained face. He walked a bit further away and accepted happily a beer that had appeared from the goodie bags the guys had brought with them. Isak sat down on the grass, still covered in oil, and cracked the can open. The beer was cold and crisp, and the show of Elias wrestling with Magnus was hilarious. Magnus was hell bent on avenging Isak, and no matter how Elias tried, he couldn’t get a grip on the writhing squirmy thing that was Magnus.

Isak had no idea who won that fight. Because someone else appeared on the yard. He was short of breath, from having to catch up his squad. His cheeks were flushed, his hair stuck on his forehead, he looked adorable and good enough to eat. Isak stared at him with his mouth open. He had rarely seen anyone taller than himself, and this guy made that height look incredible. He was like..a giraffe, but in a good way. The best way.

Isak’s heart was beating so loud. He just stared at the guy, who looked at the ring in an exhilarated disbelief. He wasn’t believing his eyes, and at the same time he was loving what he was seeing. That look really worked for him. But, if Isak thought about it, he couldn’t come up with a look that wouldn’t. That guy looked good no matter what.

That guy was walking towards Isak.

Shit. He really was coming to Isak, wasn’t he?

He had a killer smile. And at the same time Isak could see something else, just because he knew where to look, from experience. There was something behind that smile, something sad. A crack.

Isak tried to look at Jonas. Topless Jonas, all oiled up, glistening in the sun. But he didn’t -- Jonas was still hot, but the need was gone. His thirst was quenched. When Isak looked at the tall gorgeousness approaching him, the need rushed back. His every instinct was ordering him to jump this guy, immediately, and Isak was so lucky he had this much experience with holding back around Jonas.

“Hello”, the guy said and sat down. “Are these the cheap seats?”

Isak made a sound he hoped sounded like human laughter.

“The cheapest. But the beer’s cold.”

“I’ll take your word for it”, the guy said. Isak saw it again, the flash, the dark. It was pulling him in. Isak needed to know what that darkness was, so he could make it go away.

“You’re late to the party”, Isak said. The guy nodded.

“Yeah, I got stuck in a phone call. My girlfriend was -- well, I’m not sure if she’s my girlfriend anymore.”

Isak made a face. Of course. His luck, this was just typical.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

The guy shrugged.

“Yeah, well, it is what it is. I’m so sick of her trying to change me. I am what I am, and she should love me for it, right?”

Isak mumbled something and drank from his beer. He did not want to talk about this guy’s girlfriend with him. Literally, anything else, please. So, he held out his hand.

“Isak.”

The guy shook Isak’s hand. He had a nice, firm grip.

“Even. Nice to meet you.”

Wait. Did Even just run his eyes up and down Isak’s oiled up body? No, Isak must have been mistaken. But then Even moved his hand and touched Isak’s abs. He stroked at them, then rubbed his fingertips together.

“This is an interesting activity.”

Isak couldn’t speak. His skin was burning from where Even had touched him. His brain had turned off, but to his bad luck, his mouth hadn’t.

“What, touching oiled up guys unsolicited?”

Even laughed. His eyes squinted when he laughed.

“Well, let’s say touching oiled up guys in general.” Even nodded at the ring, where two guys Isak didn’t know were chasing each other’s socks. “You do this often?”

“Yeah, every Saturday. We’re aiming for the Dirty Olympics in Stockholm in 2020.”

There that squint was again. Isak was totally mesmerized by it.

“Dirty Olympics? I really should catch up with sports, it seems.”

“Yeah, it’s really rising up. I used to compete in bum balloons but I got allergic to the rubber.”

“Bum balloons? Is that -- wait, don’t tell me. I want to figure it out.” Isak didn’t tell Even, he just waited. And stared at Even. This was staring, wasn’t this? For some reason Isak didn’t care. He stared, and waited, and when it dawned on Even Isak was rewarded with the sight of light spreading across that gorgeous face. “You sit on balloons to pop them, right?”

“Yes, but  _ competitively. _ There are mandatory moves and style points and all.”

Even was grinning.

“Really? Show me a move.”

Isak cocked his head and licked his lips. Fuck, he was so gone.

“I got injured when your mate Elias played dirty.”

Even nodded, knowingly.

“Ah. Yes. He does that.”

“If you were here on time you could have warned me”, Isak said.

“I’m terribly sorry about that. My bad.”

Isak forgave Even his mishap. He would have forgiven him anything. They kept on talking, joking, laughing, and the more Isak talked with Even the more certain he was of it. He was totally, irreversibly, gone for Even.

“Okay, now  _ that _ is just gay porn”, Even laughed and pointed at the arena. The guys had got tired with the wrestling and were now cleaning themselves and each other up with the hose. Isak stared at them with his mouth open. The glistening abs. The wet hair. Hands rubbing on skin, trying to rinse the persistant oil off.

“Yeah”, Isak mumbled, “totally.”

It dawned on him too late. He wasn’t supposed to know what gay porn looked like, was he?

“I mean. I can imagine”, Isak tried to explain, but then someone turned the hose and sprayed at them. The water was cold, it made them shriek and scream and shout-laugh. Isak stared at Even, who was dripping with water, his shirt clinging to his skin, and he was - thank heaven! - speechless. When Even reached out and rubbed the oil off Isak’s skin, Isak didn’t have words to tell him to stop. He kept looking at Even’s lips.

“I’m so sorry!”

Isak looked up. It was Magnus.

“I didn’t realize you were still dressed! Come.” Magnus grabbed Even’s arm and pulled him inside the house. Isak missed him immediately, so he had to get up on his feet and follow them. They were in Magnus’ room, where Magnus was pulling things out of his closet. Even chose a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and thanked Magnus. Isak pulled back, hiding in the kitchen doorway, when Magnus returned outside. When Magnus was gone Isak sneaked closer to the door to his room.

Even was undressing. He pulled his wet shirt over his head, and Isak made a little sound deep in his throat. It was quiet, but it was enough for Even to hear him. He turned to face the door, smiling.

“Come on in.”

Isak shouldn’t have. But he did. He stepped inside and looked at Even, his eyes wide, his lips parted.

“I don’t -- I mean, I’m not -- I don’t know why I’m here.”

Even just nodded. Then he stepped closer. Isak swallowed,

“Is that. Is that okay?”

Even nodded again. He looked at Isak’s lips.

Isak looked at Even’s lips. They were so full and pretty. They looked delicious. Isak forced himself to look up from them, but then he saw Even’s wet hair stuck on his face, and his eyes, that were staring at Isak’s lips.

It was too late.

There was no stopping now.

Isak had stopped a million times before. He had stopped just before touching Jonas’ lips when he was sleeping. He had stopped just before speaking up, saying the words, telling Jonas how he felt. He knew what it was like to stop at the last possible moment, and now he knew he couldn’t.

Even leaned in and kissed him. He made it possible, just by doing it. Isak was kissing a boy. He was kissing a boy who was kissing him back, and it hadn’t been possible before this but now it was. For this kiss, for these wonderful seconds, it was possible and it was real and it was happening.

“Isak? Are you there?” Magnus yelled from the front door. Isak jumped back, and wiped his lips, and he saw that Even noticed him doing that. He saw the crack, for the briefest moment, and that didn’t do. Isak stepped forward and kissed Even, he kissed him as hard as he could, to seal that crack with the kiss.

“I’m not. Out.” Isak whispered hastily, still nibbling on Even’s lips. “Okay?”

“It’s cool”, Even said. “Tell them you were in the bathroom.”

“I feel like shit”, Isak whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

Even took his hand and kissed his knuckles.

“You owe me a date. Somewhere your friends don’t go.”

Isak nodded. Yes. That sounded good. That sounded perfect.

“Isak?”

“Yeah, coming!” Isak looked at Even from the room’s door. He hurried back to him and kissed him one more time. Then he had to leave the house and walk out into the sunshine, where his friends were waiting for him.


	2. Chapter 2

No matter how hard he tried, Isak couldn’t get that kiss -  _ those kisses _ \- out of his mind. It hadn’t been his first kiss ever, nor his first kiss with a guy, thanks to a really drunken round of spin the bottle at some party where some dude shoved his tongue in Isak’s throat to impress the girls, but it had still been groundbreaking. Earthquaking. Sky shattering. It had been a point of no return, and all Isak could do now was try to come to terms with that.

He was sitting in his room, staring at his own face on his phone’s screen. Did he look different now? Could someone possibly tell what had happened? No, they couldn’t. Isak’s face looked exactly the same as always, except when he was actively thinking about the kisses. Then his eyes got this sparkly hue. Like a swirl of blue and black sprinkled with starlight.

Isak pressed the red circle to start the recording. He looked at the boy on the screen. At his lips. Those lips had touched magic. Isak watched them curve into a smile. He made a tiny little chuckle and turned his eyes away from the camera for a moment. When he looked back he saw someone he barely recognised. He saw happy Isak.

“Shit”, Isak said, through a little grin, “I’m so gone for him.”

He stopped the recording. Then he edited the video, so that it started from him looking back at the camera to make his confession. It would have been so instagrammable it wasn’t even funny. But he couldn’t. First of all, yuck, and second -- he had said  _ him. _ Even if he hadn’t, people would have wanted to know who was this mystery person. So, Isak had to live without the shares and likes.

But he could watch the clip himself. It was a validating experience. His mind could keep screaming at him that no, of course he didn’t like Even that way, because Even was a guy, but this little piece of video was evidence. Cricital evidence.

He was so, so gone for Even.

It felt a bit awkward, too. To think about how in love with Jonas he had been just seconds, fractions of seconds, before he had seen Even for the first time. But had he been, really? Or had he just grown accustomed to it, being secretly in love with his best friend, so accustomed that he hadn’t even looked at other guys like that? Why would he have looked? It wasn’t like Isak was gay or something, it was that Jonas was  _ special. _ That was what Isak had been telling himself, consciously or not.

Well. Of course Jonas was special. He was Jonas. But Isak had been forced to notice that other guys can be special as well.

_ Shit, I’m so gone for him. _

Isak pressed his phone against his chest and smiled so wide it almost hurt his face.

The phone buzzed. Isak held it tighter, holding his breath too. It was a message, but from who? He really wanted to know, but he wanted to hold on to this feeling for a bit first. When the text could have been from anyone, but it also could have been from  _ him. _ As long as Isak didn’t look, the potential was there.

Schroedinger’s text. Isak chuckled at his own joke, then blushed a bit. He was so, so gone. Happiness was bubbling inside him and trying to push its way out through every crack. He would have to get it under control or he’d be revealed within seconds. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Come on, poker face. Do it. He pulled the smile off his lips. He smoothed out the squint from his eyes. A neutral expression. Good. Now, he would check the text and  _ keep this face on. _

Isak almost dropped his phone in the middle of his celebratory private dance party. The text was from Even, who wanted to know if Isak was available this afternoon. He was so available it was borderline pathetic.

ISAK  
Yes.  
Where?  
When?  
You texted me, stop playing hard to get.

EVEN  
You pick. Where won’t we run into your friends?

Isak had to think about it for a moment. It was saturday. Where would his friends be? Mags would be home spending time with the family. Jonas was probably at the football field coaching the juniors. Mahdi had practice, he had gotten infatuated with the thought of becoming an e-sports star and trained vigorously. Or, Isak thought, at least claimed to train. If you asked Isak, Mahdi was probably just kicking back and enjoying playing video games all day, and the e-sports thing was just an excuse.

So, the coast was pretty clear. But where would he want to go with Even? Something easy and simple, no white tablecloths and candlelight.

ISAK  
We could get a coffee somewhere? My friends are busy.

EVEN  
Sounds good. How about that new place near Rådhuset? In two hours?

Isak did the math in his head. He would have time for a quick shower and change of outfit. So he sent Even a text telling him Isak would meet him there, and then he hurried into the shower.

An hour and fifty minutes later Isak saw the sign of the coffee shop just down the street. He walked briskly. He was almost running, he wanted to run, but that would have been stupid. He’d be short of breath and blushed and embarrassing when he’d meet Even.

Well. That was likely to happen in any case.

Isak’s heart was already more like beatboxing than beating. His palms were sweating up, his tongue was tingling. He was about to go on a date. With a boy. With a beautiful boy who reminded him of giraffes, and who didn’t love giraffes?

“Isak?”

Isak stopped mid-step. He saw a girl who was smiling at him. She looked familiar. Sort of. Isak was pretty sure he knew her name but couldn’t remember it.

“Hey”, he said, to buy himself some time. “What’s up?”

She tilted her head to the side and kept smiling.

“Not much. Just hanging.” She ran her eyes up and down Isak. “You look sharp today. What’s the occasion? A date, perhaps?”

She tried to sound like she was joking, but Isak wasn’t all that sure.

“Emma? Are you coming?” Ah! Yes! Emma! Thank you, Emma’s anonymous friend. Emma waved her hand in a gesture that meant something along  _ I’m in the middle of something here _ and kept smiling.

Isak feigned a chuckle.

“A date? Me? I wish! I’m just back from grandma’s and thought I’d grab something to eat before going home.”

“Really?” Emma was beaming. “I’m starving. Do you mind if I join you?”

Isak swallowed. He couldn’t come up with an excuse. He couldn’t go meet Even now, what if Emma decided to stalk him or something?

“Uh. Sure. Why not. Is McDonald’s cool?”

“Are you buying?” Emma asked, teasingly. Isak licked his lips quickly, annoyed.

“If I’m buying it’s totally McDonald’s.”

Emma pushed her arm under Isak’s.

“It’s a date.” She laughed again, nervously. Isak insisted they’d take a shortcut, so they wouldn’t walk past the coffee shop on their way.

ISAK  
Abort mission  
Someone saw me  
I’m so sorry

EVEN  
You owe me two dates now

Jonas tapped Isak’s leg with a grissini. Isak was startled awake. Had he dozed off?

“Hey, man, we have a bet going here. Want in?”

Isak tried to blink himself into clarity. He had spent half the night texting with Even, yet again. He was so lucky that Even had been cool with being stood up. Isak was happy to owe him two dates instead of one, too. That meant that Even wanted to see him not only again, but again-again. Encouraging.

Jonas tapped him again, this time on the forehead.

“Hello? The bet?”

“Uhhh sure why not. I’m in. What’s the bet?”

Mahdi was grinning and Magnus tried to hide his snickering behind a napkin.

“Are you going to slam your face into your pasta or can you make it all the way to the gelato.”

“My money’s on the pasta”, Magnus giggled.

“Everyone’s money is on the pasta!” Jonas exclaimed. Isak frowned.

“That’s not gonna work. If you all bet on the same thing, who wins?”

“The house always wins!”

Everyone agreed that both Isak and Mahdi had a point, there. Then Jonas nugded Isak with his elbow.

“Seriously, man, why are you dozing off on pasta day?”

“Yeah! You love pasta day! Or don’t you like it anymore?”

Magnus opened his eyes wide.

“Don’t you like  _ us _ anymore?”

Isak shook his head, laughing. He loved these idiots.

“Of course I love pasta day!”

Magnus kept looking worried.

“And?”

“And what?”

Magnus’ frown got deeper. Isak raised his brows at him, but couldn’t really keep a straight face.

“Annnd I might be somewhat fond of you guys. Out of habit, mostly.”

They laughed so loud the other customers in their regular Italian restaurant turned to look at their table. Jonas topped up their glasses of chianti and raised his.

“A toast.”

“A toast!” All three guys cheered and raised their drinks. Jonas had a wicked glint in his grin.

“To the standing sun oil wrestling champion, Magnus Fossbakken!”

Magnus blushed, but he joined the general laughter.

“To be honest I only won because everyone else wanted to go home already.”

Isak raised his glass a bit higher.

“Still counts! Sun oil wrestling is all about stamina.”

“No wonder  _ you _ lost, then!”

Jonas gave Mahdi a high five. Isak threw a half eaten grissini at him. Luckily, their food arrived before they got into a grissini swordfight like last time. They had almost been banned from here. Isak ogled at his pasta with hungry eyes. He took a heaping spoonful of parmesan and sprinkled it over his dish.

They ate in silence. Isak kept looking at Jonas. He tried to catch the feeling he had held inside himself the last time they were here, but he couldn’t. It had happened. He had thought it would never happen, but he was now over Jonas. Completely over.

He was so, so happy about that. It made his heart feel light.

“Do I have something on my face?” Jonas asked. Isak blushed and looked away too quickly. Shit. Was he going to get caught now, when everything was over? Isak forced himself to look at Jonas again, smirking.

“Not yet. I made a bet in my head for when that would happen.”

“To be fair”, Mahdi stated, “you did order spaghetti. It’s going to be in all of our faces by the time you’re done, man.”

“Not mine!” Magnus flipped a napkin open and placed it over his head, covering his face.

“Ahhhhh, suddenly my appetite has magically reappeared!”

Isak’s fear of being revealed dissolved into the laughter that almost got them kicked out of the restaurant for the second time in a row.

The walk home with Jonas was different but familiar. Isak kept scanning the mood constantly, in search of an opportunity to come clean. His confession had changed significantly, but the urge was the same. As was the importance of keeping his mouth shut. If the guys learned that Isak had oil wrestled with them while being kind of gay-ish, they wouldn’t be happy.

So, they chatted about safe topics. Video games. Football. Movies. Jonas was telling Isak about some movie he had really liked, and Isak wasn’t really listening. He was too busy thinking about how much he loved pasta day and his friends, and wondering if there would be a day when he loved something else more. Someone else. He knew that day wasn’t today, but he had started to worry.

“Hey, sleepwalker. What’s up?”

Isak turned to look at Jonas. He looked worried.

“Huh?”

“You’ve been either asleep or daydreaming all night. Why?”

Isak shrugged. He didn’t know what to tell Jonas.

“I’m just tired. I was lost in Youtube most of the night.”

Jonas chuckled.

“Been there, done that. Did you reach the layer of hand painting your own tea set?”

“Pfffth. That’s where us pros start from. I got all the way down to the people measuring how much toothpaste different brands have inside the tube with a ruler and then making an oil painting with them.”

“Ah. The spearmint sediment. I’m glad you made it out of those depths.”

“I think falling asleep on my phone saved me.”

“Thank heaven for your ability to fall asleep in the middle of things. All those math classes didn’t go to waste after all.”

“You’re lucky I skipped most of gym class or I’d kick your ass right now.”

Jonas laughed. Isak still liked making him laugh. It was comforting to know everything hadn’t changed. Now, for the first time since realizing he was liking Jonas a bit too much, Isak felt like everything would be alright.

Okay. Take two. Isak looked at himself in the mirror and tried to calm down. This time he had picked a place where absolutely none of the people he knew would go willingly, and since it was still summer, nobody would be forced to come here, either. Isak washed his hands one more time, dried them with a paper towel and nodded at himself for encouragement. One deep breath, and Isak stepped out of the bathroom.

He had agreed to meet Even at the non-fiction department, conveniently far away from potential friend-attracters like the movies, comic books and games. He kept looking at his phone. He had turned it on mute, so he relied on visuals now. This was a library, after all. When he looked up and saw Even step around the corner his heart started beatboxing so loud he was sure a librarian would jump out and shush at him.

Nobody jumped everywhere. Except Isak’s heart in his throat, only to tumble down to the bottom of his belly, holding his voice tightly.

“Hi”, Isak squeaked. Even smiled, took a quick look around them and then leaned in, touched Isak’s elbow and gave him a kiss on each cheek. Isak was swooning.

“Hi”, Even said, with a killer smile. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Isak giggled. Yes, giggled. Sigh. Then again, Even had seen him semi naked and covered in sun oil, and still agreed to this date.

“At least we won’t run into anyone.”

Even looked around. He had this little permanent smile at the corners of his lips.

“I like it. I like books. They’re soothing.” Even leaned a bit closer. Their chests almost touched. “And you still have to stand close to speak, but without the background noise of the club.”

Isak wondered could you be banned from the library for thirsting after someone so bad you sort of burst and splattered all over the books.

You probably could.

“Yeah”, he managed to squeeze out of himself, in a somewhat controlled manner. “My masterplan all along.”

Even made a face that looked sort of like a wink if you had no idea how to actually do it.

“Great plan.” Even stepped back, looking around again. “So, where shall we start? What piques your interest? History? Geography? Medicine?”

Isak watched Even read the board with all the classes and topics, and he blushed at the thought that jumped at him without a warning: human sexuality was a hot topic for him at the moment. At least he managed to keep it to himself.

“Uh. Biology?”

Even grinned at him over his shoulder.

“That’s a good one. Let’s see.” Even ran his finger down the list, moving his lips slightly as he advanced. “Ha. Here. Biology. This way.”

Even headed in between the shelves. Isak followed him. When they were between them the mood seemed to boil down even further. Even’s presence was intensified, simply by reduced stimulus from the world around them. The continuous flow of books on Isak’s both sides kind of blended together, simply forming a frame around the beautiful guy Isak was following.

Even stopped, frowning. Then he turned to read the end of the shelf and his face lit up. Isak could have just watched him all day. The library was quiet, there weren’t too many people around. Nobody could see them, unless they stepped between these same shelves. Isak felt safe. It was wonderful to be able to just let it all out, be written all over his face. He was really, really into this guy.

“So. Any particular subtopic? Or just biology in general?”

Even had stopped in front of a row of books. Isak stepped next to him and looked at the titles. He picked up a book that seemed interesting, read the back cover and put the book back in its place. He hadn’t come here to read, had he?

Isak lifted his eyes from the book and noticed he had lost Even. He turned around, but Even wasn’t there, either. Had this been a bad idea after all? Had Even run away, the first chance he got?

“Even?” No answer. But Isak did whisper. He raised his voice a bit and tried again. “Even?”

“Here”, he heard Even reply. Then he saw a foot stick out from behind the end of the shelf and wiggle a bit. Relief rushed over Isak so hard it almost made his knees soft. Even was still here. Isak held himself back so he didn’t run over to him. He just walked.

“Anything interesting?”

“Mmh.” Even was holding a laminated sheet of paper in his hands and reading it. He looked serious. Isak got up on his toes to see what the paper was, and could make out the header.

BOOKS ABOUT TOUGH TOPICS

Isak licked his lips quickly. Even seemed quite keen on that list. Isak could see he was blushing a bit, too, and when he looked at Even’s lips he usually liked to avoid looking at, he saw they were pursed tightly. Even wasn’t happy that Isak saw him like this, was he?

“Can I take a look, too?” Isak asked quietly. Even handed the list over to him. Isak took it and read it for a moment. It was a list of topics people might want to learn about but don’t want to talk about with anyone, including a librarian. Drugs. Alcoholism. Loss of a loved one. Depression. Darker things, too, things Isak skipped quickly because thinking about them made his stomach curl up into a tight little ball. He didn’t want to think about which topic had made Even look like that.

He considered for exactly half a second. Then he pressed his finger next to a number.

“Can we find this shelf?”

Even looked what Isak was pointing at. Homosexuality. Isak kept his eyes on Even’s face. Especially on his lips. He saw them unfold and form a little smile. They turned torwards Isak, so Isak raised his eyes to Even’s. Even looked a thousand degrees warmer now than just seconds ago. He looked. Proud?

“Yes. We can.”

It took them a couple of minutes to locate the right place. When they got there, there was another note stuck on the shelf, listing a couple of more places where more information on the topic could be found.

“I never thought librarians were this awesome”, Even said, impressed. Isak nodded, agreeing with him. This was indeed quite awesome.

“Where are we now?”

Even checked the labels on the edge of the shelf.

“Psychology.”

Isak nodded. He ran his finger along the backs of the books. They looked a bit intimidating. Psychology. Was he crazy, after all? He didn’t feel crazy, but neither did his mother, and.

Isak turned to Even to ask him to come see some other books. But Even was deep in thought again, holding a thick book open in his hands, his lips moving again as he read. Isak couldn’t see the cover or make out the tiny text. When he looked at the shelf he noticed a gap in the row of books. The books around it didn’t really help, they were all just general psychology textbooks.

“Anything interesting?” Isak asked, using it mostly as an excuse to step really close to Even.

“I picked the newest textbook they had. It must have the latest scienctific results, right?” Even pointed at a couple of lines. “See this right here? ‘Homosexuality in itself is not a psychological disorder, although the environment the individual lives in may cause them great distress.’ See?”

Isak saw.

“I can read, you know.”

“Oh? Well, that makes this easier. What’s the next section?”

Isak laughed as quietly as he could.

“You’re taking me on a tour of homosexuality?”

“Of sorts, I suppose. Happy to be your guide.”

Isak blushed intensely when he thought about all the things Even could be his guide on. He looked at Even, quickly, and noticed he had blushed, too. Isak reached out his fingers and gave a little feathery touch at Even’s hand. Even’s fingers twitched, too, then they intertwined with Isak’s.

“I think it’s that way”, Isak said with a nod. Even pushed the book back into the shelf and they started walking.

They did the whole tour in a similar way. They’d find the books, then search for the latest possible info, and read what was said. When they reached the section on parenting, they couldn’t really find anything from this century.

“The new stuff is probably checked out. These are popular books, needed only for a short time in each family.”

Isak nodded. He hesitated. Then he took a deep breath and took the newest book he could find. From 1998.

“This is older than me.”

“In that case, so am I. When were you born?”

Isak tried to smile, but the book felt heavy in his hand. It stopped him from making a crack about checking if he was legal.

“1999.”

“Just a year younger. No sweat.”

Isak stroked on the cover of the book. He dreaded looking inside.

“So. This was brand new when we were born. When our parents were reading this kind of stuff.”

Even nodded slowly.

“It’s old. It’s dated. We know better today.”

“Maybe it’s not all that bad? Maybe this is a progressive book?”

“Maybe. Let’s find out.”

They opened the book. They almost didn’t find it in the index, but there it was, in the chapter about teenagers. Even pressed his temple against Isak’s head when they read what the book said.

“This is. Horrible.”

“This will not do”, Even said firmly. He opened his bag and pulled out a pad of post-it notes and a pen. He scribbled on it for a bit, then stuck it on the page, covering up the paragraph about homosexuality. “Fixed it.”

_ Please stop reading books old enough to have kids of their own, trying to figure out how to raise yours. This is plain wrong (source: modern science) and harmful and will make your kid resent you. If you’re lucky. Kudos to you for getting educated, but you really need to work on your source criticism. _

“Too harsh?”

Isak shook his head.

“It’s perfect.” Isak closed the book and pushed it in the shelf. He turned to face Even. “Does this complete the tour?”

“Almost”, Even hummed. He took Isak’s hands and pulled downwards, lightly, making Isak tip forward. He leaned in too, and their lips faced each other in a small, bit shy, quiet library kiss. The kiss itself was small and demure, but its effect on Isak was nothing like it. His heart was racing, his blood was rushing, his legs felt weak again.

“Okay. That’s a really great ending.”

Even smiled.

“I like to think of it as a beginning.”


	3. Chapter 3

Isak took a quick look around before he slipped his fingers between Even’s. A faint blush of shame rose on his cheeks. This shouldn’t have been like this. This secret. Like this was something to be ashamed of. But whenever Isak considered just coming out he remembered pasta day, and sun oil wrestling, and sleepovers where they ended up lying in a pile of boys, watching bad movies all night. He remembered what he had to lose, and he couldn’t do it.

Even was an absolute angel about that. He didn’t pressure Isak into telling his friends. Well, he didn’t pressure Isak into anything. Isak loved kissing him, for hours on end, and he had slipped his hand under Even’s shirt a couple of times too, but Even had been constantly letting Isak take all the steps. He hadn’t complained once about Isak insisting on keeping things secret, either.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

Isak looked up at Even, who was walking by his side and looking gorgeous rather rudely. It wasn’t polite to be so hot that the present company’s thoughts stumbled all over the place. Isak’s heart went bumpity-bump in his chest, he grabbed Even’s hand tighter.

“What?”

Even was smiling at him. He was always smiling at Isak. That didn’t really help at all with that thoughts stumbling all over the place thing.

“I said, penny for your thoughts.”

Isak blushed a bit more. He didn’t want to tell Even that he was measuring him up against his friends.

“I’m just thinking about you. How happy you make me.”

“Considering this is our third actual date I’m pretty flattered.”

“Speaking of our third date, man of mystery. Ready to tell me where we are going, yet?”

Even just hummed. He raised his hand, bringing Isak’s hand with it to his lips and kissed Isak’s fingers. Isak spread them a bit, trying to catch a kiss on each of his fingertips. He was so. Happy. He was in love and happy at the same time, and that was really a first for him.

They had held hands for too long now. The risk of someone seeing them grew by the second. But Isak didn’t want to let go. Besides, the way he was grinning with not just his whole face but his whole being, was probably going to out him anyway. Isak’s heart went bumpity-bump again, and he stopped walking.

Even stopped walking too. He turned to look at Isak, raising his brow. Isak licked his lips, quickly. His thumb stroked at the back of Even’s hand. Bumpity-bump.

“I need to ask you something”, Isak said. He was feeling just a bit ridiculous, and a lot scared, and on top of all that filled up to the brim with hope. Even tilted his head a bit to the side. He looked curious. And happy. Or was Isak just seeing everything through his own happiness?

“Yes?”

Isak stepped just a bit closer. He wanted to be close to Even because it made him feel safe.

“Are you. I mean, is this. Could you see us, like, as boyfriends? Some day?”

Even was grinning like a cheshire cat. He stepped closer to Isak too, and nudged at Isak’s nose with his.

“Boyfriends? That sounds serious, mister Valtersen. Are your motives honourable?”

Isak blushed and turned his face to the side. But he couldn’t stop smiling.

“You’re an idiot. I’m trying to be serious here.”

“Oh? You are really bad at that. Can’t stop smiling. Or giggling.”

“Speak for yourself! I don’t giggle, ever!”

Even brushed his lips at Isak’s, and the tip of his tongue tickled at his Cupid’s bow. Isak giggled.

“That’s cheating!”

“Really? Okay, okay, let’s do this. Whoever smiles first loses.” Even stepped back a bit, his face now almost serious. Isak frowned, for show, as deep as he could. “On three. One. Two. Three.”

Isak was holding his breath for some reason. He was keeping his face frozen and staring at Even. His eyes. His cheekbones. His hair. His lips. That was the hardest thing to look at with a straight face.

Heh. Straight.

Suddenly Even’s lips were really close. They touched Isak’s lips, and they curved into a smile immediately. Isak stepped back, laughing in protest.

“You cheated again! You’re a rotten cheater!”

“Okay, okay, let’s try one more time. The final round, to determine the champion. Ready?” Even stepped in position again. Isak wiped the smile off his face. “One. Two. Three!”

Isak stood there, dead serious, looking at Even. Even was serious too, but his eyes were sparkling. He had the most beautiful eyes Isak had ever seen in his life. They were so deep and blue and huge.

Isak realized something. He had no idea how long it had been since he last checked if anyone could see them.

Bumpity-bump.

When Isak rushed up against Even and kissed him neither of them smiled. They were just kissing, hard, their mouths a bit open, in hungry, needy kisses following each other seamlessly. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. They were in the middle of a park, probably in the middle of the path too, in broad daylight, and Isak couldn’t care less if someone saw them or not.

The kisses melted into smiles. On both their lips.

“So, who lost?” Isak asked, his hands on Even’s shoulders. When did they get there? When did Even’s hands get on his waist?

“Well.” Even ran his eyes up and down Isak, taking his time. “It seems to me that we’re both winners here.”

Isak giggled.

The walk took them forever. They stopped so much, to kiss, to cuddle, and just fool around and have some fun together. Even tried to climb a tree, Isak got chased by a duck, all sorts of delays. It didn’t bother them, because they had gone on a date to spend some time together, and Even had told Isak repeatedly, that they weren’t on a schedule.

Finally they reached their destination. Isak could tell it from Even saying  _ we’re here _ but the place didn’t seem otherwise all that special. They were still in the park. Even walked to a bench and sat down. Isak sat down with him.

“I hope you haven’t arranged a marching band or something. I hate surprises.”

Even laughed, shaking his head.

“No marching bands. I’ll add that to the list.” Before Isak could ask Even about the list, Even continued. “I brought you here because this is the place I always make my big decisions in. It’s my lucky bench.”

Isak stroked at the painted wood with his hand. Even’s lucky bench. Why had he brought Isak to his lucky bench?

“What’s the big decision?” Isak asked, suddenly shy. He didn’t have the courage to look Even in the eye right now. His heart was going bumpity-bump so fast it was hard to keep up.

“Well. I have two at hand, here, really.” Even leaned in, tilting his head, trying to catch Isak’s eyes and not giving up until he caught them. Isak wanted to feel like this for the rest of his life, but his body wouldn’t probably be able to handle it.

“Yes?”

“One: to answer your earlier question. I got distracted, but I haven’t dismissed it.”

Suddenly Isak remembered the question he had forgotten, himself. He nibbled on the skin of his bottom lip with the tips of his front teeth. And nodded. Yes?

“My answer is yes. I do see us like that. I have seen us like that from the moment I saw you, glistening on the grass, trying to look like you’re totally not turned on the least bit by all that wrestling.”

Isak’s eyes grew wide.

“You could tell?” Isak gasped. If Even, a stranger, could tell, did that mean that his friends could, too?

Even took his hand between his palms and Isak started breathing again. Even did take his breath away on a regular basis, but he also brought it back.

“I could tell when you followed me inside to kiss me. Have you done that to your friends?”

Isak blushed. He shook his head. He had never, no, he had maybe imagined something like that but no. No.

“In my thoughts he always kissed me”, Isak admitted, in a whisper. “But that never happened.”

Even’s smile was gentle and warm.

“Well done, taking your happiness in your own hands.”

“Happiness?” Isak asked, but it wasn’t a real question. He knew Even made him happy. But he didn’t know Even knew that as well. “You could say that.”

“Obviously, I just did.”

Isak nuzzled his face on Even’s shoulder.

“You know what I mean.”

Even kissed Isak’s hair.

“Yes. I know.”

They sat still like that for a moment. Isak didn’t fear being seen, not one bit. It was like a high.

“But”, Even said, and Isak came crashing down. He lifted his head and looked at Even, and now he was scared. Nothing good came from a  _ but. _

Even looked away. He looked pained. Isak was more scared now.

“I want to be your boyfriend”, Even said, “but I can’t tell do you want to be mine.”

“I want to. I really want to be your boyfriend.” Isak was speaking quietly, near whispering, his voice lacked strength. He wanted to be Even’s boyfriend, he could tell for certain now that the possibility of that not happening had been presented to him.

Even looked at him. Isak saw that shadow again.  _ Tough topics. _ Isak raised his hand on Even’s cheek.

“Just tell me what you need. Please.”

Even took a moment. Then he sighed.

“I can’t keep the best thing in my life a secret anymore. I want to be your boyfriend, I just can’t be a secret one and. I don’t want to ask you to make that choice. I won’t ask you to choose between them and me.”

“I choose you”, Isak said, without hesitation. Even looked at him in disbelief.

“Don’t throw this around like it’s nothing. This is a huge deal to you, I know it is.”

“I know, I know”, Isak hurried to say. “It is. I just. You maybe didn’t notice is, but I haven’t looked around us in hours. I have no idea if anyone has seen us together, and now that I sit here, with you, I know that. It doesn’t matter. I don’t care. I’m seen with you and that’s okay.”

Even didn’t say anything at first. He kept looking at Isak and then looking away.

“I checked. Every other minute, even mid-kiss, I kept an eye out for you.”

“I would much rather have your both eyes on me, you know.”

“Are you sure?” Even asked, this time looking at Isak properly. Isak could see the spark lighting up again.

“I don’t want to do life without you now that I know what life is like with you. There is no going back. I lived in the shadows for so long and -- I can’t go back there. Even if you don’t want to be my boyfriend after all, I must keep going.”

“So, you’ll tell your friends about us?”

“Yes.” Isak kissed Even briefly, then turned to look further out in the park. He didn’t see anybody, but he wouldn’t have minded if he did. “Actually, I can’t wait to tell them. I’m so fucking scared, but it’s like I’m about to burst.”

Even leaned his head on Isak’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his waist.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“Nah. They’re my friends, and I know for a fact I can wrestle them down if need be.”

Even snickered.

“Just hold the oil, will you? For me?”

“Are you challenging me in sun oil wrestling?”

“I wouldn’t dare challenge an olympic athlete in his own game.”

Even smelled so good. And he was squinting again and he looked so cute Isak simply had to kiss him again.

Then he kissed him again.

Then a bit more.

He had a boyfriend now.

Isak stood in the kitchen doorway and looked at his friends. He was listening to the microwave with one ear, waiting for the popcorn to be done. The movie night was about to begin, as soon as Isak returned with the snacks and the beers. But this time, it wouldn’t begin like that. It might not begin at all. Isak was about to ruin movie night.

The popcorn stopped popping furiously. Isak stepped to the microwave and turned it off. He took the bag out and shook it to distribute the salt evenly and get the unpopped kernels to the bottom.

“Hey, Issy! Can I get one of your beers?”

Isak stopped, mid shake. Jonas wanted one of his beers.

“Uhhh. I don’t have any.” He had been so preoccupied by being nervous about tonight that he had completely forgotten to bring beer. Shit.

“What?! You don’t have any beer? How is that possible?”

Isak was so happy to come up with a comeback.

“If I may remind you, you don’t have any, either.”

The guys laughed in the living room.

“He’s got a point, man.”

“You can have one of mine”, Magnus offered graciously. And that was that. The great Beergate was over. Isak grabbed a bowl and poured the popcorn in it. He gathered three beers from the fridge - one Mahdi’s and two from Mags - and waddled with his load in the living room.

As soon as Isak got his hands free he stole the remote control. The guys protested, raising their arms at him, but when they saw Isak’s face they settled down into a confused silence. Only the popcorn bowl rustled a bit when Magnus dug in it, until Jonas shoved his elbow in his friend’s ribs to make him stop.

Isak realized he had made popcorn to go with this drama. It made him snicker a bit, nervously. That created only more confusion.

“Dude. You’re getting us worried here.” Jonas looked at Isak, frowning a bit. Isak tried to look calm. He had no idea how that was going. He had to sit down, he couldn’t feel his legs anymore.

“Has something happened?” Magnus asked. Mahdi shushed him, demanding to give the bro a break. While Isak was grateful for the care he was facing, it also gutted him to know he was probably about to lose it. Lose this.

Okay. He had to do this. He had made his choice.

“You guys remember the sun oil wrestle tournament?” Everyone did. The mass of guys writhed in cheerful reminiscence for a bit, but then they remembered Isak was in the middle of telling them something important. They settled, and Isak could continue. “Remember the guy that came to the yard last? The really tall one?”

“Even?” Magnus asked. Isak stared at him and nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been chatting with him every now and then.”

Isak hoped his jaw hadn’t dropped open. Even and Magnus had been chatting? Why hadn’t Even told him about it? Then Magnus continued.

“It’s really nothing. He sends me a dog meme a couple of times a week if he finds a great one, and I reply with a laughing emoji, and that’s it. Not exactly deep conversation. I just mentioned that night that I love dog memes, and he was apparently listening.”

That was, to Isak’s observation, one of Even’s good qualities. He listened.

“O-kay. Anyhow. Uh. The thing is.” Isak took a deep breath. Come on. Just do it. There was no going back, he was feeling like shit even now when he was about to tell them. He couldn’t back down. “He is my boyfriend now.”

Shocked silence.

Isak swallowed. He wanted to leave. But his legs didn’t work. All he could do was sit here, watching his friends turn their backs on him, trying not to cry.

“NICE!”

Isak looked up at Magnus, eyes wide. Magnus was beaming, and Mahdi high fived him.

“A total babe, dude.”

Isak didn’t understand. At all. What?

Jonas looked at him for a long time. There was a little wrinkle between his brows.

“So. What. You’re gay?”

Isak nodded. He was gay.

“I’m sorry”, he squeaked.

“But. You’re like the most homophobic of all my friends.”

“What?” Isak stared at Jonas. He was almost angry. Homophobic? Him? He had a boyfriend!

Jonas looked at Mags and Mahdi for support, and got it. They all nodded.

“All those no homo hashtags.”

“And how everything you don’t like is  _ gay _ and all.”

“There is a reason you don’t know Mags is pansexual, Isak.”

Isak had to shake his head to clear it a bit. Mags was pan? What?

“What the fuck?”

Jonas nodded, solemnly.

“He has been wanting to tell you but then you’d spill a casual slur, like you always do, and he has backed down.”

“I’m so sorry for not telling you! We love you and thought we’d lose you for that, and it’s not like I’m even close to having anyone so it didn’t matter.”

Isak stared at Magnus now. His heart was aching. Because he knew. He knew exactly what Magnus had been feeling like. Trapped.

“I really didn’t -- I didn’t mean it like that. I swear.”

The guys were quiet for a moment.

“For the record, I kind of hooked up with that Elias guy that night. I was drunk and high and his abs were super fun to touch.” Mahdi’s remark did the job. The tenseness dissolved into laughter. All the anxious, nervous energy was released until all four boys were rolling on the floor, howling.

It took them a while to calm down. By then they were in their movie night pile again, heads on bellies and thighs, just chilling together. Their pack.

“Also for the record”, Jonas said, and looked up at Isak. His eyes were still sparkling. “I’m totally straight. Sorry about that.”

Isak poked at his shoulder.

“I think it’s time we stop apologizing for who and what we like.”

“Yeah. Agreed.”

“But I really love you guys.”

“Love you too, man.”

“Now can I eat that popcorn? I’m starving!”

“You’re getting up to fetch the bowl yourself, Mags.”

“Ughhhhh fine.” Magnus wiggled his way out of the pile. Mahdi excused himself to go to the bathroom. Jonas took the advantage of being alone with Isak on the floor and turned to him.

“Are you okay?”

Isak nodded.

“I’m just. Overwhelmed. It’ll be fine.”

“Want to talk? We can ditch this place.”

“Nah.” Isak snuggled more comfortably against his best friend. “It’s movie night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Done! I hope you enjoyed this!
> 
> I'm not saying I'm never returning to this story, so better keep it subscribed just in case. I have a bad habit.


End file.
